I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize