I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
