Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
