I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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