I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
