He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize