Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
