I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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