"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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