i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
