i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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