You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I want you more than these girls want KFC
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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