You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
