Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
