And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
