North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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