She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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