spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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