I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
