i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
