I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
