Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
