Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
