she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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