shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
