my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
