she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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