I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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