Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize