when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
