i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize