is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
