Where did you get a picture of my penis
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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