Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
