Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
