That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
