what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
