who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
