HIV tests are more positive than that guy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
