the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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