He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
