is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
