I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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