we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
