I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
