I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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