Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You're like the curious george of whores
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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