We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize