whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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