Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
