what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
