Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
