i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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