Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
