I heard we made out
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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