We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
