If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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