just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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